When you are on
top of your game you attract many to your side, with the majority masquerading
as real friends but in reality they are wolves in disguise, just concerned with
their personal agenda.
But on the other
side, when the script is flipped and the rains start beating you, the glory
begins to wane and you realize there is no one on your side.
That is when you
realize that you shut the good real friends away due to a façade from the fake
friends around you.
It is the time the reality hits you that that guy who was
always nagging by stopping you from ‘enjoying’ yourself meant the best for you.
People come into
our lives for various reasons, and majority of these reasons is for you to help
them in a way or two. As soon as they get what they want they will leave, not
because they hate you but because they have achieved their personal goal.
The
mistake many make is assuming that these friends will stand with us no matter
what, mistaking them for real friends.
The worst bit in
this phenomenon is the fact that these new ‘real friends’ hoodwink their
clients and block them from paying attention to the real people around them,
making them to live a lie. This leaves the real friends with no option but to take
a French leave.
In most cases
these ‘friends’ go overboard by promising heaven in hell and most people take
the sugarcoated bait without noticing that they (fake friends) are advancing
their personal agenda. Wait until they achieve it!
 |
| Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you. |
But how can one
tell whether friends are real or fake? Here are some distinguishing signatures
that may help unmask people, so that you help those who need your help with no
strings attached.
First and
foremost, fake friends will ‘yes, yes’ everything you suggest. These are the
kinds that will snigger at every joke you crack, no matter how lame or dry it
is. They will not question any action you take but will promise you support,
even though you are so wrong.
They will not help open your eyes to possible
ramifications of your actions or decisions.
On the other hand,
real people will be real enough to stop you when they perceive danger ahead.
They will help you make an informed decision concerning everything.
A real
friend will by no means pamper your ego!
Secondly, fake
friends sprout out of nowhere immediately one has gained a mileage in some area
of life, but real friends are those who have been with you from the beginning.
These, in most case, are people who have shared with you the little they had
with you, most probably when you could not afford a meal. Lift them up with
you.
Fake friends put
fore a kind of generosity that gives you a place to pop a question. Generosity
is not bad but always examine the motives behind it, and especially when it
comes from someone who steps into your life immediately after getting a public
spectacle. Real friends are generous
from the beginning, as I alluded earlier.
Fake people will
leave you immediately you get off the limelight. This is a late discovery of
fake friends but since it has happened to many celebrities, it is good to learn
from them as early as possible and start paying attention to real friends. It
is also important to keep yourself abreast that the cloud of friends around you
are there for a reason but only a few are real friends. The earlier you
identify them the better.
Pause and browse about
people like Conjestina Acheng’ the boxer, Tanzanian singer Mr Nice, former
captain of the national cricket team, Maurice Odumbe, the former Vitimbi actor,
Benson Wanjau, alias Mzee Ojuang’ Hatari and the celebrated artiste, Achieng’
Abura, who after basking in their glory and garnering themselves a humongous
number of fans and ‘friends’, cannot trace even two real friends out of the
number to stand with them amidst storms of life like illnesses.
As a saying goes,
age and experience is the cure for youth and stupidity. I have lived enough to
know that this is a nature of humans, but how you deal with it as an individual
is what matters anyway. The only way to deal with it is to carefully examine the
motives behind every good deal offered and those addictive smiles. In addition,
being careful enough not to fall for their deception and robbing you off time
with people who really matter is of equal importance.
Let’s face it.
People will always want to be associated with people who can help them, or
rather be of use to them. No one wants to be part of nothing!
Very incisive!
ReplyDeletethanks
ReplyDelete@Sammy